No Play
by Rachel2
Summary: What if Sousake had dealt with a tragic loss before he was asked to protect Kaname? What was that loss, and can he change things this time to make sure that it doesn’t happen again? Does he love Kaname?


**No Play**

**Chapter 1**

**By:** Rachel

**Rated:** PG-13

**Genre:** Drama

**E-mail:** PeachGirlKiley [at] aol .com

**Web Address:** www. DoujinshiAdoptions. cjb. net

**This is my first Full Metal Panic fanfic. I hope you all like it! It's a Kaname/Sousake fic. What if Sousake had dealt with a tragic loss before he was asked to protect Kaname? What was that loss, and can he change things this time to make sure that it doesn't happen again?**

**Disclamer****: **I do not own Full Metal Panic.

          "So, you've been to a lot of places in your life." Kaname nodded her head slowly as she watched Sousake stare at the train tracks as a small plastic cup blew towards them. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

          He narrowed his eyes. "I have friends that are girls…yes." He nodded his head and then continued to look around them. He was very tense and alert.

          Kaname rolled her eyes and shook her head. "No, like someone you're involved with, you know a lover, that kind of thing."

          Sousake pouted and shook his head. "N-no. No I don't have a relationship of that nature." He frowned and narrowed his eyes more.

          Kaname nodded. "Hmm…it must be hard then." She mumbled. "I mean, going from school to school without even telling people you're leaving. Don't you miss your friends?"

          Sousake sighed. "Not really, I'm used to it. We keep in contact through telephone and post, so it's not as bad as you think." His smile was weak, and strained.

          Kaname sighed. "You're answers are so weird." She sighed. "God, are you sure you're okay?" Kaname poked his shoulder and he winced, pulling back. "You are hurt!" She hissed poking again.

          Sousake moved away towards the end of the bench. "It's nothing. I'll bruise, that's all." He grimaced. "One of my friends told me that, no girl even in the most remote corner of the Tundra would ever date me," he sighed. "I never understood what he met…by that…" He trailed off as Kaname burst out into spits of laughter.

          "Oh, god…" She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Your friends a funny guy, you know that?" She chuckled a little more, a wide smile across her face.

          Sousake arched an eyebrow up at her. "You know what he meant by that?" His eyes were wide.

          She snorted. "Yes!" She laughed some more. "You really are weird. No, make that really-really weird."

          Sousake pouted, and bowed his head. He would only concentrate on his mission. He couldn't lose another whispered. No matter how hard the fight would be, he'd risk his life protect her. It wouldn't turn out like it had before. "Miss. Chidori…it's time that you go home now, don't you think?" He turned and looked into her eyes. Kaname's heart wrenched. His face had paled, and he seemed so distant, so depressed looking.

          "Sousake, are you feeling okay?" She frowned. "Maybe you're really hurt." She reached her head out to touch him.

          "Don't touch me." He swallowed and stood up. "I'll walk you home now Miss. Chidori." He turned towards her and smiled waiting for her to get up.

          She frowned. "I didn't mean what I said. About you being weird…I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

          Sousake smiled weakly again. "It's not a problem Miss. Chidori, I wasn't bothered by it." He bowed his head as she stood up. "It's a long walk; would you rather wait for the train?" He glanced at her briefly.

          Kaname shook her head. "I'm fine with walking Sousake." She smiled. "Hey, I just went food shopping yesterday—"

          "I know." He mumbled. Sousake sighed, shaking his head.

          "You know I went food shopping?" She muttered looking him over carefully.

          "I was there. By coincidence, I didn't want to freak you out, so I didn't say hello." He looked around them as they reached the street corner.

          She nodded. "Well, would you want to come over for dinner? If you're parents are okay with it I mean—"

          "I don't think that they'll mind." He wet his lips.

          Kaname straightened and looked ahead as she walked. "How do you know? I don't want you to get yelled at, you should at least call when you get to my place—"

          "They're dead, will you drop the subject?!" He had shouted at her. Sousake's eyes were as wide and Kaname's. He swallowed hard and bit his lower lip. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

          Kaname covered her mouth and stopped walking. Sousake turned around and looked up at her. He moved his lips to speak, but said nothing as she walked towards him. Her eyes were laced with tears and she pulled him close and hugged him. "God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you so upset. I know how it feels losing your parents and stuff. I lost my mom when I was ten. My dad cared about me and everything... I reminded him of my mother so much though." She sighed. "He moved me back to Japan a year after my mother had passed. He left to go back to California two months later I had a sitter watching me for awhile...but I've lived by myself since I was fourteen. I'm okay though…Sometimes it's like he died that day too. You know what I mean?" She pulled back and Sousake looked at her blankly. His face was emotionless.

          "No." He mumbled. "I don't know what you mean." He looked at the ground and chewed on his lower lip. "I think I'll just go home after I walk you to your apartment, if that's okay with you." He started walking and she jogged forward nodding her head.

          "Yes, that's fine. I just want to make sure you know that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She sighed.

          Sousake nodded. "I know." She sighed and Sousake looked at her with darkened eyes. "I'm sorry to have upset you. Don't worry about me. It's my job to protect you Miss. Chidori; it should be me worrying about you."

          She narrowed her eyes. "Is that some kind of sexist comment?" She hissed.

          Sousake turned back to her sharply. "I don't know how it would be a sexist comment."

          She growled. "It's a man's job to worry about women…what, so we can't worry about you? It's bad enough that you wanted to help out the girl's softball team…"

          Sousake shook his head violently. "No. I didn't mean it like that!" He stated firmly. "I also misjudge the sign and read the characters wrong. I haven't been living in Japan in such a long time; you'll have to forgive me when I make mistakes like those…"

          She smiled. "There, at least you're not so depressed looking." She poked his shoulder and he let out a hiss. "See, it is hurt. Be sure you see a doctor, okay?"

          He nodded weakly. "I'll have it taken care of."

**_....._**

          Kaname got inside her apartment and walked outside and waved from her balcony. "See you tomorrow Sousake!" She smiled and waved goodbye.

          Sousake nodded his head and waved. "Bye." He spoke loudly.

****

**_....._**

          Sousake opened his door and slammed it shut. He shut his eyes and groaned grabbing his shoulder in pain. It really was hurting him, he knew it wasn't broken, but the pain was the last thing he felt like dealing with. He was being forced to remember things he had wished to forget. "Thanks Miss. Chidori." He muttered and rubbed his face with his hands. He stood and staggered into his living room. He turned on the cameras that surrounded Kaname's apartment, and turned on the bugs that allowed him to hear her, so he knew if anything was wrong.

         "No, I really think I hurt his feelings today. I didn't mean too…" She was talking on the phone. "No, I asked if he wanted to come over for dinner, to be nice and stuff right…and then I told him to call his parents to make sure it was okay with them." She sighed. "They're dead…" She whispered into the receiver of her telephone. "God, if you saw the look on his face when he yelled at me. I couldn't help it, I hugged him. I think he really hurt his shoulder today too." She mumbled. "No, no of course not! God, like I would fall in love with a guy like Sousake." She laughed. "It's funny; his friend was making a comment. I felt kind of guilty calling him weird after he told me about it, but—"

          "Stop it." He turned off the sound. "Stop making me remember them. Stop making me remember her… I don't want to." He walked into his room and shut the door behind him. He needed sleep.

**_....._**

          **He laughed running down the hallway. "I wasn't that great Kurtz." He smirked. "I saved her, that's all. It was my job, and I completed it." He looked towards the containment room. "Shouldn't we let her out now? I mean, she was terrified, and now she's locked in another cell. If I were her, I'd want to be home." He tried his hardest to put himself in the girl's shoes. She was a whispered. That's all he knew about her. She'd been kidnapped, and tested on for weeks. Her mind had been picked over, stripped down to the bear bones. She was scared and would cry whenever someone tried talking to her.**

**          "Yeah, well…when she's stable enough we will. Since you saved her, she's been asking for you too. So most likely you'll be watching over her when she's sent home, just to make sure she gets her life back on track." Sousake nodded. "So, did you fall for her? I mean, she is very pretty." Kurtz cooed, poking Sousake in the shoulder.**

**          Sousake narrowed his eyes. "Of course not…it's my duty to keep my reputation clean of anything of that sort. I would never fall in love with someone I was asked to protect."**

**          Kurtz snorted out a laugh. "You can't decide that you know. If you're attracted to someone, you're attracted to them. You can't help it. No one would judge you differently. They'd know that you really cared for someone." He smirked. "They'd actually believe that you're human."**

**         Sousake stared at the girl as she slept on the waiting couch in the room. She shivered. "Whatever you say," he muttered to Kurtz. He opened the door to the waiting room and grabbed a blanket and covered her.**

**          The girl leaped forward and cried out. Sousake tensed and fell back. "It's you!" She pointed to Sousake.**

**          Sousake nodded his head. "You were shivering; I thought that you might like a blanket."**

**          "I want to go home. Where am I? Are they going to do tests on me? I don't want to do anymore tests; I don't want anymore questions…" She cried into the blanket Sousake had given her. "Can you just call me Ami?" She whimpered. "They just keep calling me ****Miss.**** Larc. I can't stand that. Please, if anything, can one person just call me Ami?"**

**          "I…" He looked towards the opening door and Kurtz nodded his head. "Sure, listen. I'll be back in a little while. You take a nap." She jumped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sousake fell back and let out a puff of air as she cried into his chest.**

**          "Don't leave me alone. I don't want you to go." She clawed at his shoulders.**

**          He sighed. "Ami, I'll be back in ten minutes at most. I swear to it." He let her cling to him. His arms rested at his sides, his breath was slow and steady. She soon relaxed and pulled back.**

**          "Thank you…Sousake?" She mumbled, trying to recall his name.**

**          Sousake smiled and nodded. "Yes."**

**_..._**

**          "I'll be sure to take care of her sir." Sousake nodded his head and exited the room. Kurtz was waiting outside. "I have permission to watch her."**

**          Kurtz nodded his head. "I figured as much…damn, I wish that she'd cling to me like that." He grinned as Sousake rolled his eyes.**

**          "She's just a confused girl."**

**          "I confused babe you mean." Kurtz nodded his head as they approached her room.**

**          Sousake rolled his tongue over his front teeth and glared at Kurtz. **

**_..._**

**          It was a week since she was back at home. Ami had grown very fond of Sousake and he had to admit that he found the girl enjoyable. She made him laugh, something he rarely did on the job. "Sousake, do you want me to make you dinner?" She grinned wickedly as she poked her head around the door and found him doing pull-ups in his closet. "All work and no play, makes Sousake a dull boy…" She trailed off.**

**          "I find working out to be enjoyable Ami." He hissed rubbing the back of his neck. Her cheeks flushed and he frowned, pulling his shirt back on. "Yes, if you want. I'd like it very much for you to make something." He yawned.**

**          "Sousake?" Ami mumbled.**

**          He looked up at her as he sat down at her kitchen table. "What is it?"**

**          "Well, I wanted to know if you had a girlfriend." She smirked. "I'm sure, at some point you've have one, right?" She laughed as he looked at her oddly. "You know a lover…?"**

**          His face paled. "I have girls that are friends yes…a lover, no." He mumbled. "With my job, you don't have much time for those things. Besides, I'm not the type to get involved with others."**

**          After a moment of silence she quickly leaned in and kissed him. "Tell me if you want one then." She sighed, before turning back towards her food.**

**          Sousake swallowed and touched his lips as her felt his face, get hot. What had she done? Did she have some kind of poison on her lips? He felt dizzy. "I…" He got up and staggered out of the kitchen and went into his room and shut the door.**

**_..._**

**          "What do you mean you're leaving?!" She screamed throwing his plate to the ground. It had been six months since he'd been staying with her.**

**          "Ami, calm down, you know I couldn't stay here forever!" He yelled back, his teeth clenched.**

**          Tears rolled off her cheeks. "They'll come get me again! When that happens, if I die, I'll blame you. It'll be your fault when I get kill Sousake! I hate you! I hate you! I never want to see you again!" She screamed and ran towards her room.**

**          Sousake swallowed hard and shouted out in frustration. "Damn it; hate me if you want to! If it makes you feel better, then hate me! Blame me for whatever you want to!"**

**          She screamed again. "It's not that…" She fell to her knees. "I told you I loved you! Why can't you answer me?!" she clawed at the carpeted floor.**

**          He bowed his head as his heart wrenched. "You know why Ami. I can't ever love you." He shuddered as she let out another cry and crawled into her room shutting the door behind her.**

**_..._**

**          Sousake had his belongings packed. He hadn't heard a word out of Ami in about an hour. Sighing he opened his door and crossed the hall. "Ami…?" He knocked on her door. "Can you come out? I'll be going soon. I don't want to leave without saying a proper goodbye to you at least…" He swallowed. "Are you in the bathroom?" He mumbled. "Ami, I'm coming in, okay?" he waited for her to answer, or at least move. Nothing happened.**

**          Sighing, he shut his eyes and pushed the door open. He lost all feeling in his body and fell to the ground. His hands trembled and he began to shake violently. His jaw moved up and down. "Jesus…" he gagged and rolled forward as the hot tears rolled over his eyes.**

**          Dangling from her ceiling rafter was Ami's limp, lifeless body. She had hanged herself. Tears were dried on her cheeks, her open eyes were bloodshot, veins swelled and the color in her face was blue. "Ami!" he cried, clawing at his arms. "God, no…no…it's a dream…it's a dream…" He covered his ears and started rocking back and forth. "Ami…I love you…" he breathed.**

**_....._**

          Sousake sat up and cried out. Sweat trickled down his forehead, and tears rolled over his cheeks. "No, let the memories go away. I don't want to remember that. "Ami…"

**_....._**

**So he lied to Kaname…he did like someone. Anyway, what do you think? This is a look on Sousake's job before he was asked to protect Kaname. Will he be able to protect Kaname? Will he tell her about Ami? BTW, I've only seen the anime, so if we know the other girls name (the one with the long wavy dirty blondish hair in the first scene of the first episode, and several other short shots in other episodes…TELL ME WHAT HER NAME IS!) Is this good so far? REVIEW!!**

** Why can't the English language allow you to say that a person hung themselves?! I hate saying hanged…anyway…REVIEW!**


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